Rules of Engagement: Eye Contact
It seems like a no-brainer.
If someone is speaking to you, you should look them in the eye.
Providing eye contact shows respect and generally means that you’re taking an interest in what’s being said.
But, in today’s digital world – people seem to care less about how they’re making someone else feel, and more about their incoming email, text or call.
Think about it. How many times have you been in the midst of a conversation, only to have the flow broken up by a mobile interruption? These distractions generally leave one person nose deep in their smartphone and the other left asking “um, are you listening to me?”
It’s ironic how much engagement people seek on social platforms…but, when it comes time to actually engage in face-to-face conversations, people forget the very basics: respect.
It’s an unfortunate reality, but one that needs to be addressed.
According to Quantified Impressions, a Texas-based communications analytics company, adults typically make eye contact during 30 to 60 percent of their conversation. Although, emotional connection is built when eye contact is made for at least 60-70 percent of the conversation. So, in other words, because we, as a society are making less eye contact, we’re also connecting less with one another.
At a recent National Press Club event, U.S. Soccer Star, Abby Wambach joked about the inevitable neck and thumb injuries our society is sure to endure, due to our constant texting and curved posture. Now, while she was making light of the situation, her message was clear “look up,” she said “get some type of personal connection, look people in the eyes.” (Check out this excerpt of her conversation)
Have you ever thought about the power the “eye” holds? According to the website, Psychology Today, eye contact is the strongest form of non-verbal communication. For instance, a child knows when his/her parent means business, just from a simple gaze. Or you can equally tell that someone’s patience is running low, by how quickly they cut their eyes. The unspoken emotions that the eyes express can often reveal how a person is feeling, even when their words are saying something else.
Ben Decker, CEO of Decker Communications was quoted in the Wall Street Journal article Just Look Me in the Eye Already saying that “people who avert their gaze too soon, or avoid eye contact altogether, are often seen as “untrustworthy, unknowledgeable and nervous.”
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to be associated with any of those adjectives…especially not in a business environment.